Stop Blaming Your Audience:
“What a terrible audience!”
If you’ve ever whispered those words after a presentation, keynote, or meeting, you’re not alone. Maybe you didn’t say it out loud, but the thought was there:
They were unresponsive.
They didn’t get it.
They gave me nothing to work with.
And suddenly, the audience becomes the reason the connection didn’t land, your energy dipped, or your message fell flat.
Trust me—I’ve been there.
When I Used to Blame the Audience
As a young actress in New York City, my auditions lived and died by the energy I got from the people sitting behind the table. If they were warm and welcoming, I soared. If they were curt, distracted, or downright rude (and yes—crunching sandwiches, shuffling headshots, or ignoring me for the dog on their lap all happened), I shut down.
And who did I blame?
Them.
They weren’t friendly enough.
They weren’t kind enough.
They weren’t present enough.
They didn’t give me the energy I needed.
It was all their fault… or so I believed.
My Wake-Up Call; Stop Blaming Your Audience
As I share in my bestselling book, Charismatic Presence: 5 Principles For Magnetic Presentations, my confidence used to rise and fall depending on who was watching. A casting director once told my agent, “Eleni just didn’t bring her sizzle this time.” That moment was a gut punch—and a turning point.
If I wanted to honor my abilities, elevate my career, and feel good about my own performances, I had to learn how to stay consistent under scrutiny. That meant not giving my power away to the audience.
It was the same pattern later, when I started giving keynotes to large audiences across the country. After one early-morning healthcare keynote, I convinced myself the audience was the problem:
Too tired.
Required to be there.
Hungover.
Unmotivated.
Blah blah blah.
Then I got the event planner’s feedback:
“You may have connected more if you weren’t looking at your notes so much.”
Ouch.
And yet… true.
It was easier to blame the audience than to look at what I could have done better.
Your Presence Is Your Responsibility—Not Theirs. Stop Blaming Your Audience.
Here’s the truth: No matter where you’re speaking or who’s in the room, your audience is not responsible for:
- boosting your confidence
- fueling your energy
- making you feel prepared
- soothing your nerves
- validating your talent
- helping you feel present, grounded, or ready
That’s on you.
Your physical, vocal, and energetic presence is your responsibility—not theirs.
Once you embrace that, everything changes.
So How Do You Actually Do It?
Here’s what is in your control, and what will dramatically shift your presence:
1. Warm Up Your Body and Breath
To be relaxed and energized:
- Release physical tension
- Activate your breath
- Ground your body
- Expand your energy
A speaking warm-up is as essential as an athlete stretching before a race.
2. Strengthen Your Mindset
Reframe limiting thoughts and replace them with:
- empowering self-talk
- useful beliefs
- intentional focus
When your inner state is steady, the audience’s energy can’t knock you off center.
3. Know — Really Know — Your Content
Internalize your pitch or presentation well enough that you’re not dependent on your notes. The less you read, the more you connect—and the more magnetic you become.
4. Anchor Yourself in Intention
Focus on why you’re there:
- to serve
- to teach
- to inspire
- to help someone shift or grow
When you’re grounded in intention, you stop obsessing over what the audience is thinking about you.
Stop Reaching For Blame—Reach For Ownership
The next time your audience feels quiet, tired, or low-energy, pause before pointing the finger outward. You can’t always control who they are or what they bring.
But you can control how you prepare, how you show up, and how you lead the room.
When you take ownership of your presence—not once, but again and again—you stop relying on your audience to give you what you need. Instead, you show up ready, confident, focused, and fully alive in your message.
If you want to learn how to bring consistent presence to your pitches and presentations—and stop blaming your audience for lackluster engagement—let’s chat. I’d love to help you show up as your most magnetic, powerful self.
📘 P.S. Buy my new book, Charismatic Presence: Five Principles for Magnetic Presentations
Follow me on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/elenikelakos/
Eleni Kelakos, CSP The Speaker Whisperer®