We’ve all been there—ready to share exciting plans, only to have them derailed by an unexpected curveball. Whether you’re a leader, business owner, or customer service professional, delivering bad news is an unavoidable part of life and work. But there’s a big difference between simply giving bad news and delivering it with presence, empathy, and grace.
Recently, I was reminded of this lesson during what should have been an ordinary night out with my husband. Here are 7 Ways to Deliver Bad News with Grace:
A Dinner That Became a Masterclass in Communication
We went to our favorite seafood restaurant, excited for a relaxed evening. Once seated, our server—let’s call her Mindy—greeted us warmly, brought drinks and menus, and made us feel welcome immediately.
When I spotted fresh Perch on the menu, I was thrilled. It’s a delicious fish common in Michigan’s Great Lakes, and I quickly decided on it. My husband agreed.
Mindy took our order.
Three minutes later, she returned with an apologetic expression:
“I truly hate to tell you this, but we’re out of Perch. I’m so sorry—I know you were looking forward to it. May I suggest the Whitefish instead?”
A little disappointed, we agreed.
Another few minutes passed, and she was back again.
“I hate to say it, but we’re also out of Whitefish. These fish are local and go quickly. However, the Trout filet is fresh, and the chef can make it gluten-free for you.”
We accepted her offer, grateful for her efforts to accommodate us. Throughout the meal, she checked in sincerely, asking if the fish was to our liking and whether she could bring anything else.
Despite two rounds of disappointment, we left her a generous tip—not just for her service, but for how she delivered bad news: with professionalism, care, and genuine empathy.
What Mindy Taught Me About Delivering Bad News
Here are 7 key strategies I learned from Mindy that you can apply in business, leadership, and life:
1. Be Direct
Don’t drag out bad news. Get to the point so the recipient can process and respond.
2. Maintain Eye Contact
Looking someone in the eye builds trust and shows respect, even in difficult moments.
3. Apologize Sincerely
A heartfelt apology acknowledges the inconvenience without making excuses.
4. Give a Clear Explanation
Provide just enough context for understanding without overexplaining out of guilt.
5. Show Genuine Empathy
Your tone, facial expression, and body language should reflect that you understand their disappointment.
6. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Verbally validate their emotions so they feel seen and understood.
7. Offer a Thoughtful Solution
When possible, provide an alternative or next step to soften the impact of the bad news.
Why This Matters for Leaders and Professionals
Whether you’re a doctor delivering a diagnosis, a manager navigating layoffs, or a customer service rep handling complaints, your ability to show up with grace defines how your message is received.
You can’t always control the message, but you can control the delivery—and that’s where Charismatic Presence comes in.
Final Takeaway:
Every tough conversation is an opportunity to strengthen trust, build connection, and lead with humanity. As Mindy showed, bad news doesn’t have to be the end of a positive experience—it can be the moment you make the biggest impact.
If you’d like to develop the kind of presence and communication skills that turn even challenging conversations into moments of connection, let’s talk.
📘 P.S. My newest book Charismatic Presence: Five Principles for Magnetic Presentations launches on June 19th. Click here to get on the list for updates and the release party!
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Eleni Kelakos, CSP The Speaker Whisperer®