Ashok, a mid-level manager and new presence and presentation coaching client, shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
“The problem,” he said, “is that in order to be promoted at my company, I need to be able to speak confidently in front of larger and larger groups. But even though I keep being offered opportunities to do it, I turn them down because I’m just so uncomfortable speaking in public. Last week, my boss suggested I give a presentation at a conference that’s coming up, to gain some visibility and credibility. But I found a way to squirm out of it, like I always do.”
I leaned in and said, “Ashok, you’ll never improve your public speaking if you don’t speak regularly in public. To do that, you’re going to have to commit with all your heart to improving your public speaking by saying yes to speaking engagements.”
Avoidance Won’t Help You Grow
Like Ashok, many people who dislike public speaking find every possible way to get out of doing it. But every time you say no, you not only miss the chance to influence others with your wisdom and leadership, but you also forfeit an opportunity to face your fear and grow. The reality is clear: avoiding public speaking won’t make you a better speaker.
That’s why, when I’m working with coaching clients who regularly avoid speaking engagements, I ask them to make a bold commitment. They must raise their hand and swear to say yes to every speaking opportunity that comes their way. Because the more you commit, the better you’ll get.
Rising to the Challenge
In spite of his fear, Ashok raised his hand and committed to saying yes to speaking engagements. “That damn oath!” he would say with a laugh whenever he told me he had agreed to a talk. “It’s all your fault I’ve got this presentation coming up!”
Together, we worked to prepare him for these moments. I taught Ashok tools and techniques to manage his presentation anxiety and embrace the spotlight with greater confidence. He learned how to shape and refine his presentations to make them clear and compelling. By rehearsing and internalizing his talks, and analyzing his performance afterward, Ashok steadily built his skillset.
The more Ashok spoke in public, the more relaxed and engaging he became. His visibility and influence grew, as did his confidence. And others took notice.
Compelling Speakers Get Noticed
Ashok’s newfound ease and effectiveness as a speaker did not escape the attention of his boss. When a promotion opportunity arose, Ashok was shortlisted and ultimately offered the position.
At our next session, I said, “You made this opportunity happen by saying yes to speaking engagements and committing to improving your skills despite your fear. With work and focus, you’ve become a confident, compelling speaker. That makes you a better leader because great leaders are great speakers.”
Commit to Growth
No one reaches their full potential by avoiding the challenges they know they need to face. If you want to be a leader whose words inspire action, you must say yes to speaking opportunities and prepare for them.
If this commitment feels daunting, lean into it anyway. Then, seek the coaching or training support you need to turn that commitment into action. Great leaders are great speakers, and the more you speak, the better you get.
Are you ready to step into the spotlight and rise to your potential? Let’s get started.
Need help preparing for an important interview, or improving your executive presence? Let’s connect!
Eleni Kelakos, CSP The Speaker Whisperer®