(Note: The following is an excerpt from my new book Claim the Stage! A Woman’s Guide to Speaking Up, Standing Out and Taking Leadership, which will be released in mid-summer):
Brenda, a warm and witty catering manager for a local restaurant chain, wasn’t sure why she was sitting in my office.
“I’m feeling unfulfilled by my work,” Brenda began. “But I really don’t know what I want.”
“For now, let’s focus on what you don’t want,” I said. “What do you want to stop doing or feeling?”
“That’s easy,” she said. “I want to feel less restless. I don’t want to be tethered to my desk, computer, and phone from nine to five. I’m tired of working in the food industry. And I want to stop working for people who don’t appreciate how hard I work for them.”
“That’s a great start,” I said. “Now I have another question. What do you love to do? What are you good at, that you wish you could do more of?”
“Well, I love being onstage in front of an audience,” Brenda replied.“I’m a bit of an actress, you know? My verbal skills are strong, and I’m great at telling stories. I love to make people laugh. And it makes me happy to be of service to others. If I could find work that could use all those things, that would be great.” “Now we’re starting to get somewhere,” I said. “Let’s just keep talking and digging. We’ll uncover what you really need and want soon enough!”
As Brenda was walking out the door, I spontaneously handed her a copy of my book Touch the Sky: Find Your Voice, Speak Your Truth, Make Your Mark, the companion to my
“Read this,” I suggested. “You might see a little bit of yourself in here.”
At our next session, Brenda brought the book with her. She’d obviously been reading it, as it was dog-eared and bookmarked.
“So you were an actress and singer-songwriter for years,” she said. “And now you’re a coach, a trainer, and a speaker. You actually get paid to speak?”
I nodded.
“In front of big audiences?”
I nodded again. “There is actually such a thing as a career as a paid speaker?”
I nodded vigorously.
“Well, who knew?” she said. “So let me get this straight: You get to dictate your schedule and aren’t stuck behind a desk from nine-to- five. You get to perform in front of audiences that stand up and applaud you when you’re done. And you get to use the performing chops you love, in work that’s of service to others. That sounds like the opposite of what I said I don’t want!”
I nodded yet again, now feeling a bit like a bobble-head doll.
“Well,” she said, “this might sound crazy, but I know what I want. I want to be a professional speaker like you. Help me figure out what I should talk about. And then help me put together a killer keynote.”
And just like that, Brenda stepped into phase three of the Claim the Stage Cycle: take aim.
Take aim is all about pinpointing and committing to a clear goal or target. Put another way, it’s about determining what you don’t want and getting clarity about what you do want, particularly when it comes to your ability and desire to share your voice with greater impact on a larger platform.
That’s’ because you can’t get what you want until you know what you want…
Ok, that was just a little tease! You can can find out what happened to Brenda and read the rest of the chapter when the book comes out! Meanwhile, here’s what I want you to remember: Before you take steps, take aim. Because in life, leadership and public speaking, you can’t move forward with confidence and clarity unless you know where you’re headed. To quote from my upcoming book, “It’s like archery: Without a target, you’re just shooting arrows aimlessly. You’ve got to see the bullseye before you let your arrows fly.”
What about you? What target or compelling goal do you need to determine before you figure out the steps needed to achieve it? Is it speaking up more assertively in team meetings? Running for local office? Or writing the companion book to your consulting practice so you can increase your influence?
Whatever your target, take the time to make it as clear and compelling as possible before you take steps and metaphorically let your arrows fly. Because the clearer and more compelling the target the target, the more likely you’ll be to reach it.