Until I met my husband, Jim, and became the step-mother to two teen-age boys, the world officially viewed me as a non-mother—which excluded me from the Hallmark moments associated with Mother’s Day: Mother’s Day brunch, Mother’s Day Cards, Mother’s Day gifts, etc.
But I never saw myself that way. For one thing, I’ve Mommied every living thing within hugging distance – puppies, cats, bugs, people—since I could toddle and stretch out my arms. For another thing, while I may not have birthed any flesh and blood k
ids, I’ve birthed a few items of significance I’m deeply proud of: A boatload of songs that have affected people all over the country (and beyond); four well-received music CDs whose births were fraught with great pain and pride; and a business of my own that I love beyond measure. The most recent big bun in my oven has been my first official book, Touch the Sky: Find Your Voice, Speak Your Truth, Make Your Mark. Birthing it and sharing with the world has been exhilerating!
What I’m suggesting is that our instinct to mother can come in handy in areas other than making and raising children… or even mothering (or over-mothering) other grown up people (who really ought to be taking care of themselves). We can mother our dreams into existence. We can mother our talents into a thriving business, or into marvelous, impactful pieces of art. We can mother ourselves out of a relationship and behavior that is self-destructive, and forge a healthier life and life-style.
This week, consider how well you mother yourself: Do you make sure you eat regularly and right, get enough sleep and have enough play dates? Do you support and nurture your own dreams, desires and goals? If you do have kids, do you tend to take better care of them than you do yourself? If so, ask yourself what message that is sending them, and how well it serves them. If you don’t have kids, make note of—and take pride in—other things to which you’ve given birth in your work or creative lives.
The point is this: Whether or not she has kids, Every Woman is a Mother—with the right and the tools to nurture and mother her own, deserving self. Mother your Self, your dreams and your goals with regularity and with love—not just on Mother’s Day, but every day of the year.
1. Besides the children you have mothered (whether adopted, fostered or birthed), what else have you birthed in your life that you feel deeply proud of? This can include creative projects, business entities…
2. What creative project, dream or desire in you lies waiting to be birthed and mothered into thriving existence? What can you do to bring it screaming and alive into the world?
3. What is one thing you could to today (e.g. get a massage; take a nap; say no to something you don't want to do) to mother yourself so that you can feel more balanced, nurtured and taken care of?